Louisa Ellingham and the Secret of the Old Clock
by rumpybumpy14
Summary: Louisa attempts to track down the family clock stolen by Martin's mother at the end of Series 6.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Pippa would be by to pick her her up at 10 am sharp. That only gave Louisa 20 minutes to finish packing and tie up loose ends around the house. She lamented that she wasn't as well organized as her husband, Martin, was. He would have been out on the front porch waiting by now, dressed and polished, every shirt meticulously packed without a wrinkle if he was doing the packing, but as it was not him, she pulled together all her cosmetics and dumped them in her makeup bag to throw in her suitcase. With no time for sorting she just packed everything figuring she wouldn't leave anything important. She brushed her hair as a finishing touch and stuffed her bathrobe on top of her other clothes...wrinkles be damned. She closed the case and went down the stairs.

Martin and James were in the kitchen finishing up their breakfast with young James making sure that no surface was devoid of Cheerios despite his father's protestation. Louisa walked in breathlessly and couldn't help smile at the two men in her life. "Martin, I'd like to spend a minute with James before I go. Could you possibly bring my suitcase down. I'd really appreciate it," she asked. "Mmm...of course," he said, getting up to climb the stairs. "Wait a minute," she added and walked to wrap her arms around him before he left the room. She tiptoed for a kiss and he responded, no questions asked, answering her gaze with one of his expressions of adoration and appreciation. "Mmmmm, thank you, Martin," Louisa sighed. She poured tea and put James Henry on her lap and explained what was going on. "OK, James, Mummy is going to a teacher's meeting in London. It only happens once a year, but I really need to go so I can stay smart and do a good job at school. Daddy and Janice will take care of you, but I'll be back so fast you won't realize I was gone. Do you understand?" She questioned. James was turning two in 3 weeks and as verbal as he had turned out to be, he nodding solemnly and said, "Yes, Mama." They enjoyed cuddles and kisses and Louisa felt pangs of doubt striking her again. Perhaps she shouldn't go? Maybe it was too early?

"Your bag is outside," stated Martin, entering the kitchen again. "Oh Martin, I don't know if I should go," said Louisa. "He's so little." "Louisa," Martin stated, as a matter of factly but not condescending. "James is able to walk and talk, somewhat. He weighs a over 2 stone. He feeds himself. He's a bit of an independent organism, don't you agree? Besides Janice and I have the whole thing under control. I have 3 days off. James and I will do some of that...what do you call it?...bloke time or something. We want you to go and get up to date with teaching issues and maybe enjoy some time for yourself. You need to do it for your school, in any case." Louisa sighed and knew he was right. She needed continuing education points to maintain certification. She handed James to Martin and took a last sip of tea. Pippa pulled up outside the house and gave her horn a beep. She picked up her tote bag and purse and Martin and James went to load her bag in the boot. "Mornin' Doc, James," she yelled out the window. Louisa kneeled down to her little boy standing on the porch and gave him a kiss and hug. She then stood up and faced her other man. Martin still wasn't comfortable with public displays of affection, but certain times he made an exception...like now. He and Louisa embraced and shared a loving kiss, then he helped her into the car. "Bye bye James, bye Martin," she shouted. Her little round headed son called back and waved. "Bye bye Mama!" He shouted, smiling. "Pippa, let's get out of here before I cry," she said, still waving. With that Pippa started the car and pulled away.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Despite her best efforts, Louisa broke down crying the minute they left the house. "Come on, Louisa, luv, believe me it's not going to be the last time you cry over that little man," said Pippa. "Wait until his first day at nursery. Then it really hits you that they no longer belong to just you. They become their own person, with their own new experiences and adventures. It's humbling." "I know Pippa, I've been on the receiving end when those little ones start. I just worry that he's so young," said Louisa. She wadded up her tissue and put it into her bag as she watched the scenery go by. Springtime in Cornwall was always so beautiful. "So, you thinking about another one?" Pippa inquired, with a smile. Louisa was already late for her period so she looked up with a start. She wondered how her friend could know but wisely collected her thoughts and chalked it up to coincidence. "You never know what the future holds, do you? Martin and I have certainly discussed it, so who knows?" she answered, knowing her secret was still hers.

"So how is the car getting home?" Louisa inquired as they pulled into Bodmin Station. "Charlie and his brother are working over here today. He'll drop Charlie here and he'll take the car home. Worked out great," Pippa answered. "And Martin will pick us up on the way home," said Louisa. "We've got it all worked out." "Splendid," her friend exclaimed as they found the perfect parking spot, a rare occurrence.

Bags out, reserved tickets picked up, they got on the train and settled in for the hours long trip to London. Louisa's hesitance about the trip abated as the day went on for she knew Martin was a wonderful father and trusted him more than anyone else she had ever known. He was unconventional as he talked to his son in complete sentences and had difficulty with "playing" but he tried his hardest all the time and found if they did anything that was "educational"….even kicking a ball or building with blocks, he threw himself into it 100%. James always laughed and thought he was just playing and having fun with his Daddy, whom he adored. The physics of the ball rolling when he kicked it were lost to him now, but they helped Martin do what he wanted to do…"play" with his son. Louisa figured it was nap time now, giving Martin time to do some desk work or other things. She leaned against the window and watched the countryside go by.

There were helicopters everywhere..everywhere she looked, as she stood with James Henry on a hill. The water was rising fast and Martin was dangling on a rope. He put out his hand to catch James Henry, but he missed. The chopper pulled away over the churning water as someone cut Martin's lifeline and he fell, in the shape of a grey ball, into the churning water. She heard him shouting "Louisa! Louisa!" as he was dumped into the maelstrom of the stormy sea. "Martin! Martin!" she screamed as James dissolved when the water hit his feet. He turned into multicolored dust that fell on the surface of the waves. "No!" she cried. "No, please!"

Pippa's voice brought her to consciousness. "Louisa, Louisa hon, it's ok," her kind voice reassured as her arm went around Louisa, holding her tight. "That must have been a doozy!" After picking up her head and opening her eyes Louisa regained her orientation and didn't speak. She grabbed her cold tea and had a few sips to wet her mouth and stop her from shaking. "Oh god, I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm so embarrassed." "No worries, girlfriend," Pippa replied. "With the sound of the train I don't think anyone heard you anyway." Louisa lifted her head and surveyed the other passengers, satisfied that no one was staring. "You ok?" Her friend inquired. "Yes, yes I am," Louisa replied thankfully, though her brain was thoroughly muddled. "I don't even want to know what that was about. It sounded horrible," Pippa added. "We're about a half an hour from the station. Let's go to the loo and get ready to get off.

Louisa had no idea where her dream had come from. It was just one of those things that came out of nowhere and punched you in the brain. She would be grateful to get off the train in any case.

At the station they disembarked and made their way to the Taxi Station. "London Hilton, Mayfair, please," Pippa told the driver. With their bags in the boot the cab took off and headed to the lovely Mayfair neighborhood and their hotel.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The Hilton turned out to be a "nice" hotel, certainly not 5 star fancy but it had good conference facilities and a great location. Upon arriving Louisa and Pippa parted ways for a while as she was going to room with an old friend from University. Louisa actually liked the idea of being alone not only because of her private nature, but also because her life, dealing with students and parents, a two year old and husband, not to mention the village in general left little, if any, solitary time. The porter showed her to her room and left her overly heavy bag on the stand. Packing light was never her strong suit. She laid down on her back and savored the silence, letting her muscles stretch and relax from the long day of travel. As all the tension was released she felt energized and relaxed. Now it was time to call home.

Martin picked up immediately and brusquely said, "Ellingham." "Martin, it's me. Didn't you look at your phone before answering?" Louisa questioned, teasingly. "Erm, uh...yes, yes I did', he replied. "Well, I certainly know you're Martin Ellingham," she laughed, "And Martin, I'm just joking with you." She smiled as she thought of her funny man with his particular habits and had discovered in the past months if you didn't allow them to annoy you they were a fascinating study in human behavior. Some of them she had grown to adore in the past months, like he always stroked James' head as if checking for fever when she really knew he just wanted to touch his beautiful child. Given any excuse, he checked for that fever...it was precious. "Uh, em, I suppose it's just a force of habit, Louisa. Let me try again…..Hello, Louisa, how are you?...is that better?" he questioned. "Oh Martin, anything is fine," she laughed. "I've arrived in London and am at the Hilton Mayfair. The trip was ok except I had a really weird dream on the train...it was strange. How are you and James and what did you do today?" In the background she could hear the banging sounds of a toddler playing and James using his favorite exclamation, "Oh gawd, oh gawd...daddy...oh gawd!" Martin had given up "Oh Gawd" months ago but James didn't want to give it up. It was still his favorite thing to say. "Well, James and I had a great day," Martin replied, almost bashfully. "We went for a ride out to the construction site by the tin mine so we could look at all the construction equipment. No one was working." "What a great thing to do, Dr. Ellingham. I suppose you wore your grey suit. It seems to be your "play suit" these days?" Louisa queried. "Well, yes I did, Louisa," he answered. "And I made sure to wear my old shoes." Louisa smiled and giggled. "James was truly enamored of all the construction machines, as I expected, and they were impressive. Some of the truck tires were taller than me!" he added, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. "Sounds to me like two boys enjoyed themselves. I love you, Martin," she said. "Could I have a word with my baby?" Martin said, "Certainly…...James, your mother wants to speak with you."

Louisa heard heavy breathing. "James, it's Mummy," she said. James giggled happily and said "Mummy" to Martin. She and James had a Mum to toddler chat in the usual disjointed fashion and she heard him say his new words, "Big truck". It soothed her mind to hear Martin and James sound so happy. She said goodbye and I love you to James and got his usual answers. Martin put him down and the "Oh gawd, big truck, Daddy" chant began again. "Well, Martin, I'm going to go. I'll call you tomorrow," she said, "Think of me tonight." "You know I will Louisa," he answered and shyly added. "I love you." "Me too," she answered. "Goodnight."

So Martin liked the trucks as much as James, she thought. That left her with a smile in her heart and a giggle in her brain. She decided to clean up and get dressed for the evening dinner reception and orientation where she could rub shoulders with colleagues and look for some old friends who were planning to come. She wondered how she might spot them in the crowds of hundreds.

As Louisa later entered the convention hall she was amazed at the crowd of people who filled the place. It was amazing that they were all educators, from every corner of the U.K. And some from places around the world, all dedicated to teaching children of every age. She felt proud of her vocation and proud of those who shared it. She headed for where she and Holly were supposed to meet and was a bit startled when her friend came up and threw her arms around her. "Louisa! I'm so glad to see you here in London!" she gushed. "You look wonderful! Married life must suit you, I declare. Come and join us. There are lots of people from the College you would like to see….and they'll love seeing you, too." The next hour was full of meeting old acquaintances and catching up on stories of where their lives had taken them. She and Holly had a time to chat while salads were being passed. "So how's your Dr. Ellingham?" Holly asked. "Martin? Oh Martin is fine and we have two year old named James," Louisa replied. "We got married about 18 months ago." "Oh, do tell," Holly answered. "Do you know your doctor man came to see me in the hospital after that horrible incident? He came every day until I was discharged. You know, I thought him very odd at first. Well, I thought him odd later too but after he visited me the third day, I found myself thinking he had a queer charisma, with that close cut hair, gorgeous suits and perfect posture. He has an unusual face but kind of endearing in itself. He was all man. I found myself getting naughty ideas and since you had chucked him was thinking I might have a go at him myself." "Oh Holly, don't say that!" Louisa replied. "Don't worry, dear," Holly answered. "I got busy...no worries." Louisa had only become so possessive recently as she had finally realized exactly what Martin had to offer. He was a "stick of rock", totally dedicated, totally faithful to her and certainly one of the most tender and skillful lovers in all of Cornwall, at least she thought so. She wanted no other woman even thinking about having her man. That was totally unacceptable.

"Oh Louisa, look who's here!" Holly almost shouted. "It's Dr. Carswell. My, he looks as handsome as ever….mmm...mm." "Oh, Holly!" Louisa answered. "Keep your tongue in your mouth! Dr. Carswell was a brilliant professor. He helped me so much." "So let's go say hello," Holly said. "I'm right behind you" was all Louisa could muster.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Dr. Timothy Carswell had been and still was the Dean of the college where Louisa and Holly had matriculated. He was a brilliant teacher, totally dedicated to his teaching students. He also happened to be one of the most kind and gentle human beings Louisa had ever known. If you ever had a problem or question his door was always open and you could count on him to give you totally sage advice in a thoroughly nonjudgmental fashion. In Louisa's memory it seemed that he didn't dish out solutions, but rather guided your thinking to where you could deduce the answer yourself. Most great leaders are like that, aren't they? Having no family to speak of, Louisa found herself spending hours in his office discussing issues and sharing quandaries regarding her education and sometimes her life itself. All the students adored him, and at this moment all the alumni we gathered around him, shaking his hand and telling their stories. He was also one of the most handsome men she had ever seen and Holly certainly hadn't forgotten her own schoolgirl crush. Louisa hoped she might get a word, but it wasn't going to be now. He sat at their table which gave her more hope she could speak to him again.

The dinner was served and the invocation and orientation to the meeting was delivered. People were beginning to leave and the crowd was thinning out. A seat opened next to Dr. Carswell and she walked over and took it as the professor seemed to have a moment free. "Dr. Carswell, I hope you don't mind if I visit for a minute. After talking to all those people, you must feel all talked out," Louisa said. "No, no, please sit down. It's always a pleasure talking to someone I DO remember and I do remember you. Louisa, isn't it?" he replied. "Oh, you DO remember?" she answered. "I just wanted to thank you so much for all the guidance you gave me while I was at the school. I was a bit out of my element...Cornish country girl in the big city...but you helped me negotiate paths in my education, and also in my private life. I want to thank you." "Yes, yes….Louisa Glasson. We had some deep philosophical discussions, didn't we?" he answered. "We talked a lot about loneliness and lacking an anchor, and towards the end we talked about whether you would go back to Cornwall or seek employment elsewhere. You went back to your village, didn't you...Bude?" "No, smaller than that...Portwenn," she answered.

The professor looked at her and smiled. "So, Louisa Glasson, tell me what you have done."

Things hadn't changed a bit. "Well, I went back to Portwenn Primary and worked up the ranks until I became head teacher and that's what I'm doing now. And I'm still Louisa but I have a different last name. I'm married and I have a son."

"And that name is….?

"Ellingham, Louisa Ellingham. I met the local doctor and one thing led to another and we fell in love. Guess that's it."

The professor furrowed his brow. "Ellingham...Ellingham….well that's a flash from the past. I wonder why that sounds familiar?"

Louisa's interest was piqued. "Did you know the Ellinghams? If you did, I'd love to hear your story."

"Give me time to think on it. Meet me at lunchtime after the first presentation. Maybe I'll come up with something by then. I'm glad to see you're doing well…and yes, Holly can come, if she just keeps her distance. I've been married a long long time, but my wife is still jealous as a snake...at our age...imagine that." He laughed and they both said goodnight.

"Jealous as a snake...oh yes, Louisa could imagine it...she was possessive of Martin already. Who knows how bad she'd be in 15 years? "Unbearable," she thought. Martin was one of those wicked men who gets more handsome as the years go on and for some reason women seemed to notice him all the time, like Holly. But, she wasn't worried. She knew him too well. Thoroughly knackered, Louisa got ready for bed when a peculiar but wonderful fact occurred to her. There was no monitor, no baby to cry...nothing. She stretched and wiggled with the joyous notion, feeling a little guilty, but not much, then she ordered a wake-up call knowing she probably could sleep until noon. She missed her men, but this was some serious fun.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Morning came quickly, but after a solid 7 hours of disturbance free sleep, Louisa felt totally refreshed. After reorienting herself as to where she was she made a cup of tea and began preparing for the day. Drying off after her shower she noticed her breasts felt a bit tender, and indeed a bit swollen. She smiled at the thought and wondered how Martin would feel about another child. They had discussed it a few times and wondered how their lives would have been if they had had siblings. They both experienced difficult childhoods, especially Martin, but they had come to the conclusion that it may have been nice to have someone to play with, or just to keep company. Martin admitted he may not have survived, because if he had a brother or sister, he would have fought back his parents with every fiber of his being to protect them. He told her that was the way he felt about James and her and she believed him unequivocally. That evening had progressed rather pleasantly, if her memory served correctly.

The topic for the entire morning explored the educational prospects of disabled children. There was always the sticky subject of mainstreaming or not, and the panel managed to keep the debate civilized despite the fact that they were all fervent in their convictions. Whatever the solution would be, it seemed assured that the kids in need would be better accommodated in the future, one way or another. At least the services were being adjusted and revamped in the educational arena. Listening to that it occurred to Louisa how important her job was and how she was a professional and had great responsibility. It was exhilarating to think of these things after thinking about nappies and sippy cups the last few years. She was feeling a new clarity about her mission in life and was so glad she had decided to attend. The thought of pursuing an advanced degree even entered her mind, but certainly this wasn't the time to think about that.

The group dismissed and gathered for a light lunch in another room. Louisa found Holly and made plans for dinner with Pippa and a few of her friends. They spotted Dr. Carswell and noticed that he had saved two seats...he hadn't forgotten their "date". They had some discussion about the morning program and did some reminiscing. Holly excused herself to go and visit with Dane Quigley, another classmate of theirs. Louisa found a comforting familiarity sitting and talking with her old mentor.

The professor looked her straight in eye. "You know, Louisa, I've always had a fairly good memory."

Louisa laughed. "One of the best, you mean. I was always so taken aback by the way you remembered statistics or anecdotes as if they happened yesterday. The only person I've met that comes close is my husband, Martin, but I almost think you would win that contest."

"Well, these days my memories are not always on the tip of my tongue, but more like on a hard disc in my brain. It sometimes takes a little time to retrieve them…and I did, last night. I remembered why the name Ellingham generated some recall." The Dr. laughed.

Louisa was eager to know, as now it was her family history now. "I'd love to know, sir."

He sat back in his chair. "Well, my father was chief photographer for the Daily Mail here in London some years ago. Have I told you that?"

"Well, typical of me, I can't remember". She never had a memory as powerful as Professor Carswell or Martin had, but she could hold her own.

"Well, he was. He photographed everything...battlegrounds...royal weddings...politicians...He was an incredibly talented man. In any case, through my childhood and adolescence he would sometimes take me on assignment with him. I think he really hoped I would follow in his footsteps, but alas, I had no aptitude for it, no instinctual talent for composition as he did, but I never regretted being able to watch him work. It was a gift." The professor paused. "So, one day, I believe around Christmas, he took me to work with him. I may have been 15, well somewhere about that age, and we were going to photograph "Christmas Showplaces of London", where we visited posh homes decorated for the holidays. One of those days we went to visit a house that belonged to a Mr. Ellingham, an esteemed vascular surgeon, in a very nice neighborhood."

Louisa was fixated. "This is fascinating. Tell me more of the story, please."

"I remember the house was beautiful. We rang at the door and were shown into a parlor decked with garland and multiple decorated trees all over the foyer and other rooms. We were announced to a beautiful, graceful, dark haired woman bedecked in diamonds. That was Mrs. Ellingham, I remembered. It was strange because the first thing she said was…"you, boy, go wipe your feet and don't track dirt onto my carpet." She then began a lengthy orientation on the layout of the house, what she thought should be photographed and how, what poses she would do….like sitting at a desk posting cards or having tea while she reclined on a sofa. My Dad would try to give some suggestions with his photographer's talented eye but she shut him down, and not very nicely. She simply said, as cold as ice, "No, we'll not do that". I found her a bit scary.

Louisa frowned. "That sounds just like Margaret."

Dr. Carswell continued. "All through the tour, my Dad and I noticed this weird little child peeking around columns and hiding against walls. He was decked out in short pants and a tie and looked like little Lord Fauntleroy, but he sneaked around, not saying a word. The lady left the room for a minute and my old Dad said, "Blimey, Tim, this is going to be one pain in the arse, sorry I had you come, but hey, why don't you go talk to that little tyke. He looks like he could use a friend. Maybe you could find something to do. On second thought, I wonder if he's normal. Don't think I've ever seen jug ears quite like that." Then the lady came back into the room in another dress and I said, "Ok, Dad" and went off to find the boy.

"That would have been Martin, my husband. He had a difficult childhood, he's told me. Oh my God." Louisa was incredulous.

"Well if I had that lady as my Mum, it would have to be...she reminded me of a witch in the movies, or that nasty lady in that Pongo film. So, let me continue…I finally found the kid sitting on the stairs doing something strange with his hands. Close up, he was a bit different-looking, but not so bad. He just had a big round head and funny ears, but I had seen worse.

"How old was he, Dr. Carswell?"

"8 or so...it was hard to tell...he was very lanky.

Louisa felt pain just hearing about it. That would never happen to James Henry. "So what did you do?"

"Well, I asked him what his name was and he looked down and didn't answer. Then I sort of kicked his toe, in a friendly way to get him to look at me. No reaction then, either. I was really wondering if the little boy was indeed disabled. It was the teacher in me coming out way back then, so I sat down on the stair below him and said, "Hey, you want to go and kick the football for a while?" He told me his Mummy didn't allow him to get dirty or play outside in the winter. I answered that if I asked her, maybe she would say "yes", because I was older. "No" he said. His eyes remained downcast and I really felt sorry for him so I continued prodding. I said, "Hey, it will be fun" and got off the stair to go and ask his mother. That was the time he finally said, with his face distorted in anger, "I SAID NO YOU MORON! I CAN'T! SOD OFF!" He was running up the stairs just as his scary Mum came into the hallway. "Martin Ellingham, I told you to keep your dirty little self upstairs!" Then she turned on me…."And you, go outside until we finish in here. I can't believe that the paper would let him bring you anyway! Out! Out!"

"I'm so sorry, Dr. Carswell, that must have been awful. I'm really sorry." Louisa felt hurt and embarrassed that the woman was even vaguely related to her. She was a total misogynist.

The professor smiled. " Don't worry, Louisa, I obviously recovered. I had a warm coat, it was a sunny day and I had some books. I kicked around the football to pass some of the time. Did you know I was pretty good at football? In any case my Dad had some rather unsavory words as he took us home that evening. The redeeming fact was that the layout won a prize at the next year's news awards. It was memorable, though."

There was a bell ringing. It was the beginning of the afternoon program. Louisa felt disturbed and chilled by the story. "Professor, thanks for sharing you story," she said. "Sounds like we need to get back." "Let's all have dinner before you leave town, Louisa," he answered. "And strangely enough, I think I read something about an "Ellingham" in the paper within the last year. I'll start a "search" on it." He laughed and pointed to his head. Louisa gave him a quick hug and thank you and they returned to the lecture hall.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The afternoon was spent in smaller seminars, with those in administration discussing different topics that those who were in straight teaching assignments. The one Louisa attended reviewed new ideas on fund allocation and recommendations on how to apply for grants. With her tight budget in Portwenn, Louisa figured she needed all the help she could get concerning both topics. The school had recently been given a grant by a private patron to purchase 20 new computers for the school's media lab. That was a feather in Louisa's cap since she had done all the soliciting and much of the legwork basically on her own. The patron, a television production company, frequently use the beaches and country around Portwenn as backdrops for some of their productions. They were immensely generous as sometimes they disrupted daily life around the village, but they always tried to support the community in return.

There were energy companies and animal welfare agencies that offered support as well, figuring the more the young people were educated about their cause, the better they may integrate their ideas into the future of the village. Louisa wrote down every possibility and swore she'd look into every one of them during the summer, when she had more time. Periodically, listening to the speakers became difficult as Dr. Carswell's haunting story crept back into her mind. She had met Margaret Ellingham and the thought of entire nightmarish scenario settled into her gut and made her physically nauseated. "Oh, maybe it wasn't so bad," she thought. "It could have been Dr. Carswell's youthful interpretation...or maybe it was just a really bad day." Then she would stop herself from her old habit and minimizing situations or making up excuses for people whose behavior was just plain bad. Somethings just can't be smoothed over, something she had tried to do in the past. Not everything is "normal" as she always wished it could be. That being said, the story left her even more disturbed.

Returning to her room, Louisa found herself weary from the day of continuing education, but she didn't want to sleep away the two hours before dinner. She wondered if she'd ever get up?Instead she made tea, got more comfortable, and climbed onto the bed with her laptop. "How stupid can you be, Louisa?" she asked herself. "Why didn't I do this this two years ago? What an idiot!" She went to Google and typed in the name...Ellingham. How could it be easier?

A plethora of information unfolded right before her eyes and she was ready to see it all.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The page opened up with dozens of items. Ellingham, English surname. There were 47 Ellinghams spread all over the countryside, with the highest concentrations in Dorset, Cornwall and London proper. Louisa figured they are most likely distant cousins, related to Uncle Dick in Cornwall and those in London related to Martin's nuclear family. He had never mentioned any of them, which didn't mean he wasn't aware of them. He'd just never been inclined to share anything personal about himself.

The next entry had to do with a William Ellingham. He was in service under Henry the Eighth and was apparently an executioner, always under a mask except when home with his family. He had been responsible for the execution of two of Henry's wives, if not more. For his good service his son, Henry (named after whom?) was given a scholarship to Cambridge University where it was thought he studied biology and the medical sciences. William and his wife and two other children died like paupers of consumption in London. It was unknown how many other children survived, but by that time they weren't able to be tracked by the London census and presumed to have moved to the countryside. "Eww," thought Louisa. "I wonder if Martin knew about his executioner ancestor?"...somehow she bet he did.

From there came notices about Henry Christopher Ellingham in the early part of the 20th century. The blurry pictures she saw didn't look much like Martin. He was said to resemble his mother almost completely, from the shape of his nose to the color of his eyes. Grandfather Henry did have full lips and Martin's head. "Genetics," thought Louisa. "Anything can happen." A gene from three generations ago can erupt and all bets were off, in fact her own Mum had been the only ginger in the family for generations. Her Grandmum had said, "I wondered if I'd been with the wrong man, but if I was I surely can't remember it. She had laughed so hard. It was a fond, but painful reminiscence because once her Mum had left her, contact with Grandmum was gone.

Mr. Henry Ellingham was a respected surgeon at St. Thomas's in London. The articles made it clear that medical care was primitive back then. They had done primarily amputations and attempted to save people from tumors and infection. Antiseptics and antibiotics had recently become available and Henry Ellingham was a pioneer and started to actually give people more chances at life than they ever had before. He had been the first one to ligate and reconnect a femoral artery destroyed by a gunshot wound. His work in antiseptic surgery was historic and he received many awards. He had three children as per a more "personal interest" article in the Daily Mail. Louisa looked and saw three skinny kids, Ruth Ann, Christopher Henry and Joan Marie. It was fascinating seeing them all as children. The resemblance was undeniable. There was no indication how Henry had died. Louisa only knew he was alive when Martin was very young and Martin had a fondness for the man. He had given him a frog to dissect when he was 5. How she would love to hear more about that. She somehow got the impression it may have been a life changing experience.

Christopher Henry Ellingham was a totally different story. He was a brilliant surgeon, Oxford educated and trained at Imperial in London. He had pioneered the nascent science of carotid surgery and the surgical treatment of aortic aneurysms and dissection. Somehow, at the same time, he was the darling of the society pages. He dated posh women and had fancy cars and was the subject of more than one scandalous report. Louisa looked at the photos from the 1950's and indeed he had been gorgeous. He had thick blonde hair, limpid blue eyes and a slim, but sturdy build. "No wonder Margaret fell for him," Louisa thought. She had no idea about Margaret Schofield.

Louisa saw the wedding pictures of Christopher and Margaret and they looked as close to royalty as they possibly could. Old Henry Ellingham was in the picture too. The couple were honeymooning in Venice. There were a few society shots with short captions. Then there was a picture of Margaret pregnant. "The prince of surgery is coming" it said, and although Margaret looked beautiful, it was clear she was not pleased with the publicity. Another headline said, "Mrs. Christopher Ellingham takes tumble...Baby to Come OK". "What was THAT?" thought Louisa. "That's too weird". The next entry was short. "Police called for domestic issue...Mr. Christopher Ellin….." That was it. There was no more to the article. It had been deleted. After that, there were no more historic entries. On a lark, Louisa typed Margaret Ellingham into her search. A lot of old, scandalous blurbs came up as well as the "Showplaces of Christmas" from the 1960's, but what came up next was unbelievable.

The Honorable Lord Phillip Crawley announces his marriage to Margaret Schofield Ellingham. Lord Phillip is the former owner of STAR magazine and reports that the date will be…..

"Oh my gord lord," thought Louisa. "That bitch is already remarried!" Fire sprung up in the back of her eyes and she started to cry. "Oh my god, is there no fairness in this world? I really don't think so...and that's really sad. Oh my Martin….


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

There was a knock at the door. "Blimey," thought Louisa. "Here I am in my pajama bottoms and sweater. I'm not anywhere near ready to go". She opened the door and Pippa and her friends piled in with an open champagne bottle. "Ok, boss, are you ready to go?" asked a slightly tipsy Pippa. "Give me a couple minutes and I'll be ready," Louisa replied and she retired to the bathroom to fix her makeup and slip on her jeans. It was Indian food tonight so they were going casual. Despite her heavy heart, Louisa got ready and headed out with the group. She had to have dinner somewhere and a nice walk in the fresh air was just what she needed.

The dinner with the tipsy ladies was actually quite fun...exactly what Louisa needed. They were very funny but the angst she felt for Martin still haunted the back of her mind. What was good is it looked like they would be back at the hotel in time for her to call him. "Never after 10 pm", that was the rule. It was 9:30...plenty of time. She pulled off her boots and her jeans and dialed up his number.

"Hello, Louisa, this is Martin...is that better?"

Louisa laughed. "That was fine, Martin, really good"

"Good, I really practiced. It's good because I knew it was only you that would be calling so late….uh, not that you're late, but no one else…"

"Martin, I know what you mean. Don't tie yourself into a knot". She laughed.

"So, was the program today satisfactory? Did you learn some new information? It would be good if you did"

Louisa smiled inside. Martin was never going to win a prize for small talk, no matter how hard he tried, but she so appreciated when he did. "Yes Martin, I learned a good amount, so how is James? What did you do today? Did he do anything new?"

"Well, we had a quiet day. He actually gave me an hour and a half in the afternoon to do some charting and I found myself drooling on the blotter when he called me on the monitor to wake us up. Seems we both had a decent nap". Martin could be so funny sometimes. She secretly thought he knew he was but nothing is for sure. "Afterwards we went down to the platte for a walk and it was 16:32 when he said, "Daddy, oh gawd, the water comes". He said that for 15 minutes. On the way home, at 16:48 he said, "Where's Mummy? Mummy love." I told him you were away but you'd be home soon. He then said, "Mummy loves James," meaning him. I assured him you loved him and would be back soon. He understands everything I say. I can tell it in his eyes. The rest of the evening was all about you and trucks and water. He requested a biscuit although I don't know where that had come from. I complied of course.

"Oh Martin, you're making me cry". Louisa was sniffling and laughing at the same time.

"Don't cry Louisa, we are fine, just waiting for you to come home. I miss you, Mrs. Ellingham."

"I miss you too Martin." Louisa was nearly blubbering. "As different as you are, you make me feel like I'm safe. I know I'll always be safe with you."

"It is the same way for me" You are my safe place. Please don't cry. It's difficult for me.

"I will always be your safe place, Martin, and don't worry about the crying. I'm very happy, but I have to say goodnight."

"I have learned a lot about crying. I'll say goodnight then too. I miss you."

"I love you Martin. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Good night."

Louisa turned off the phone and held it close to her. She was missing her boys more than anything tonight. Despite the night interruptions here and there she missed James and the fresh smell of baby shampoo and his larger than normal two year old body spread upon her lap while she read stories at night. She also missed Martin with his late night sharp and masculine scent and his smooth chest which he allowed her to caress anytime. She also wanted the late night secret of his kisses which penetrated throughout her body and reached into her soul. Despite the years, those private, special kisses were something she embraced. No one would ever expect something like those from "Doc Martin". They were her special treasure and belonged only to her. She laughed and gloated that she had something that no one knew about. His loving made her feel like a princess and it would never be shared. There were other things she missed but she dare not go there and convinced herself it was time to go to sleep. It took some minutes to calm down, but eventually she fell into deep, uninterrupted sleep. She arranged a wake up call in the morning. What the next day held….she didn't know….but a plan was coming together.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The morning presentation dealt with issues that Louisa experienced everyday. It was about the struggles of working parents or sick parents who had issues if their child became ill. It was understood that childhood illness was inevitable and any child who was sick, especially febrile, had no place in the classroom, perhaps exposing another more vulnerable child to their illness. A midnight episode of vomiting could send a whole household into turmoil. This was a pressing problem in Portwenn where so many families were working just to eke out subsistence. A day missed at work could mean less food on the table, or even worse, the threat of being sacked because of too many absences. Louisa had dealt with this with the impetigo outbreak years ago. It almost cost her job as head teacher. There were great ideas like "illness daycare" or even an "on call" stable of qualified care staff who could step in when a stressful situation arose. The discussion was lively and the "Question and Answer" sequence was full of brilliant new suggestions. The upshot was that government funding was not ready to cover this although perhaps in the future it would. It was a dire need among working class families. The discussion continued well after the seminar ended.

Holly found Louisa after the program. The afternoon was free and allowed the delegates to enjoy London and what it had to offer. "Louisa, come shopping with me this afternoon. I've seen some things that would look "divine" on you. It would be such fun," she said. "Oh, Holly, I have some plans of my own today," Louisa replied. "But let's make plans to be together at the convocation tonight. Dr. Carswell wants to be with us. It will be a fitting end to a great meeting. How about that?" Holly was a little crestfallen, but as it always was with Holly it didn't last for long. "Well, some of us will be going to Covent Gardens, you're welcome to join us," she answered. "I've got plans of my own, thanks. I'll see you later on," Louisa replied.

Louisa returned to her room. She had great trepidation regarding what she was about to do. Her laptop gave Lord Phillip's address as Queen's Garden Gate Mews. It was close to the Natural History Museum and must have been near where Martin's old flat was located, and as such was quite posh. Louisa could only dream of having such a home. She changed into her best outfit and made herself up wearing the diamond earrings Martin had gotten for her (after a month of hints) last Christmas. He was planning to give her a food processor, and actually had, to add to their kitchen, since they both cooked. Louisa was happy she'd left the pictures of the earrings on his desk. Martin was a challenge. There was no doubt there.

Satisfied that she looked presentable Louisa went down to the concierge who ordered a taxi very quickly. She gave the address on Queen's Garden Gate Mews and the driver took off. He said he knew just where it was.

"That's old Lord Phillip's place, isn't it Miss?" The driver looked back at her. "You a relative?"

"Well, I suppose, in a way, I am. Why do you ask?"

The driver shrugged. "Well, not talking out of school Miss, but people was coming and going like the dickens when that whole inheritance mess went down a couple months ago. I hope you weren't involved in that. Lots of people got hurt in that one, they did.

"No, I wasn't involved." Louisa answered the question casually.

"Good for you. The rest of the family was up in arms when they found Lord Phillip's will had been changed. New wife thing, I think."

Louisa would have loved to get more details. Not much was secret in London high society, but instead she just let it be.

"Here you are, Miss, I hope you have a good rest of the day"

She got out of the taxi and paid the fare. She found herself in front of one of the fine white row houses that lined the street. A feeling of dread passed over her and she wanted to run away, but she had a mission in mind. With trembling hands she rang the bell. A tall white haired butler answered the door, welcomed her into the foyer and asked her name. "I'll announce you to the Lord and Lady." Through the door she heard a woman's voice, quite loudly, "Her? Of all the nerve! Who does she think she is?" The butler said he would send her away. The woman replied, "No, Franklin, show her in. Hopefully I can deal with this quickly." The gentleman came back and opened the door and stated, "The Lord and Lady will see you" and led her into the parlor.

Louisa found herself in a parlor with grand windows and plush furniture. In one corner there was a very elderly man whose head hung down as he sat in his wheelchair. He may have been drooling. In the other corner, sitting on a sofa was Margaret….no longer Ellingham, but Crawley. She was dress in the highest fashion with jewelry spilling everywhere. Her hair was coiffed to perfection. Louisa had no other conclusion to make. She looked stunningly beautiful.

"So Louise, this is quite a surprise. What brings you to London?" Margaret did not get up or invite Louisa to sit.

"It's Louis-A, Margaret, nice to see you. I'm in London for an educational seminar and I had a few things that I wanted to ask you before you suddenly left Portwenn. I thought this might be a good opportunity. I know it's been a long time."

"Wait a moment, dear." Margaret turned to the butler and said, "Franklin, take Lord Phillip away please." The old man lifted his head and said, "But I want to stay. I want to hear what this lovely young lady has to say. "Phillip I don't want you here. Franklin, take him away. Now," Margaret ordered. Somehow the butler looked distressed, but he took the old man and pushed his wheelchair out of the room.

"So, Louise-A...now that filthy old bastard is gone….what's on your mind?"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"What was on my mind? What was on my mind?" Louisa thought. Well she had many things on her mind. Where to start was the problem.

Louisa started with the most recent development . "Well, we had no idea that you had remarried."

"There was no need for you to know. It wasn't your concern"

Louisa hesitated. "But Martin and I are your family! You have a grandson, who, by the way, is doing very well. Why not let us know?"

Margaret rose from the sofa dramatically, smoothed her dress and stood at the window. Louisa wondered if she thought she was in a play. "What a drama queen" was all she could think. Margaret turned to face her.

"When I left Portwenn on my last visit Martin begged me to stay. He told me that seeing James Henry and I together was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and it was obvious that the little tyke adored me. He was close to tears. I, however told him that Portwenn was claustrophobic for me since I was so used to the atmosphere of a cosmopolitan environment."

To Louisa this seemed far fetched. "Well, I can't say that Martin shared that with me, but then, you know him as well as I do. He's not much of a talker, is he?"

"Exactly, but then I asked if he would help support me, as I wanted to go back to Lisbon. He almost broke down, asking me not to tell you what he was going to say. He said money was tight and he wouldn't be able to help me. Some of his investments had gone awry and you were just making ends meet. I suppose he takes after his father in that respect."

Louisa had heard nothing of financial difficulty and firmly believed that Martin was a rational and prudent manager of finances, in fact he was rational and prudent with any undertaking. "So you asked Martin for money?"

"I didn't ask for much. I just wanted to go back where I had been comfortable for the last 20 years before Christopher died."

Louisa summoned every bit of the gumption she had. "So Christopher Ellingham is really dead? There were some rumblings that you may have lied about that?"

Margaret laughed sardonically. "We weren't together, dear. He had taken up permanent residence at the Bull Club. They had a special program that supported aristocrats that had befallen hard times. They gave them room and middling board. The upper class in England has faced hard times as of late. Some of us are losing our entire livelihood. I'm sure Christopher played numerous games of backgammon, but with his drinking he was in no condition to perform surgery ever again. One day I received the call that he had a stroke. By the time I got to St. Bart's , I'm not sure enough of him was there to even recognize me."

"Oh Margaret, that must have been awful, losing someone you loved like that." Louisa thought about the grim reality.

"Oh, yes, Christopher was the love of my life, but that's a story for another day. What else can I tell you?"

"How did you come to remarry? Why didn't you let us know?"

"When I came back to London, after leaving Portwenn, I was in a terrible state. Creditors were around every corner. I checked into the Savoy using every penny I had from the liquidation of our villa to pay. I sold my clothes and jewelry, but I always made an effort to come to dinner looking the best I possibly could and mingle with the guests who were always present." Margaret looked pensively out the window. "One evening I met Phillip and things went from there."

"But Margaret, he's a invalid."

"Never question what a woman does to survive, my dear. Yes, he is an invalid, but he is a man and still had certain desires and demands that I was willing to fulfill, no matter how repulsive. When he finally asked me to marry him I figured all that torture and repulsion had been worth it. I finally had a roof over my head and someone to call off the collection agencies."

Louisa was speechless. The story Margaret had had shared was so amazingly pathetic and very very sad. Louisa loved Martin...the man, she loved Martin so much that she couldn't imagine how Margaret could enter this horrid marriage of convenience. In fact she worried about Lord Phillip. Had he thought he had met someone who cared about him?

"Margaret, I'll be direct. I know you don't care about Martin, but I would like to retrieve the clock you took from him. You know the one, Grandpa Henry's clock...I think it means a lot to Martin and now that you find yourself in the catbird seat, perhaps you could give him some of those memories back..

"Oh, Louise, I care about Martin very much, but I won't tell you in what way. His birth and existence destroyed my ideal life. There is so much you don't know." She stared out the window again.

Louisa felt helpless. "I'm sorry."

Margaret turned to her, eyes full of fury. "Come back tomorrow, around noon. I won't be feeding you, so don't get your hopes up. I will dig that bloody clock up and let you have it. There is a bit more that you need to know."

"I will be here". Louisa was adamant. "I want that clock back for your son, Martin. I love him very much...and I love the child that we share. James is your grandson and will never know you. That's your loss, as far as I'm concerned. See you tomorrow."

Louisa left the house and proceeded to walk in the general direction of Mayfair. She needed time to calm down and process the information she had just received. She cried part of the way, thinking about what Martin had suffered, but also for the punishment that all people inflicted on one another. The world could be so cruel.

Between walking and finally flagging a taxi Louisa made her way back to the Hilton. She had a little time before the convocation and used it to ponder what she had learned and to take a welcome nap. That first trimester exhaustion had finally hit her and the force of gravity had become more than she could overcome. She laid her heavy body down for an hour, which would prepare her for the evening ahead.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Louisa rose from her brief rest and got herself ready for the convocation dinner. After the afternoon she had her spirits weren't high, but she had made so many commitments...saying goodbye to Dr. Carswell, planning travel arrangements with Pippa, making plans with Holly and her friends...that she couldn't skip the event. Martin would still be working so she decided to postpone that call until later. She left a message to that effect for him, wondering what she would say. He would never condone her visiting Margaret, but what was done, was done. WHEN she would tell him was the issue because she desperately wanted to get that clock back. She wanted Martin to have just a tiny piece of his otherwise miserable past to hang on to, and perhaps pass on to their son. All these things to consider while eating rubber chicken and "networking" with colleagues was not a small task.

The banquet room was filled with hundreds of educators from all over the continent enjoying cocktails and camaraderie. Louisa was quickly losing the pall that had descended upon her while "enjoying" Margaret's company in the afternoon. Holly found her and showed her to their table as Dr. Carswell ascended the podium. He was going to give the convocation address, which was titled "The Future of Teaching in a Modern World". It began with a description of education as a tripartite endeavor. The student, as a citizen of the world, was obviously the the primary component, but that was impacted by the effects and demands of society, the family, the neighborhood and the future work environment. This second component was the weakest, as family structure has broken down, war and poverty has decimated the ability of the family to provide and nurture all over the world. Dr. Carswell then discussed the function of educators in this environment, citing that it was no longer enough to teach the student maths and close the door and turn away. He didn't want to frighten the educators with the intimation that the future of mankind rested solely on their shoulders, but instead called for ways of thinking that might draw the family into the process and ways to provide an atmosphere of social acceptance and comfort, allowing the student to flourish in the face of dire realities. It seemed a monumental and thoroughly idealistic task, but in Dr. Carswell's thoughts, if everyone did a little more it would be a step in the right direction.

"We can't allow ourselves to be mired in the past. Things have changed. We have a different venue in the future that we must recognize. So let's turn our eyes and thoughts to the future and make it the best it can be, because, obviously, that is where we are going to live, as long as we are here." He stepped down from the podium to applause from the entire audience.

Louisa found the speech inspiring, but everyone in that hall realized the harsh realities of funding and restrictions and were guarded in their enthusiasm. Still, it couldn't hurt to have a different attitude. Louisa felt as if she had carried out some of these attitudes at Portwenn primary, and that gave her a sense of satisfaction.

Certificates were to be picked up at tables at the back of the hall, but guests loitered, saying goodbye to old friends. Pippa dropped by and checked with Louisa about travel plans.

"Pippa, I have some business to attend to at about noon. Let's meet for breakfast and I'll get a late checkout for my room. We'll leave our things there and I'll take care of my stuff and meet you about two?"

Pippa seemed relieved. "That will be great. With all the schmoozing I've done, I haven't had time to get anything for the kids. That'll work. Hey, we're going out for drinks. You want to come?"

Louisa demurred. "Thanks Pippa, but I'm going to visit with Holly and hopefully speak to Dr. Carswell one more time. Let's meet tomorrow about…..what say, 8:30?...usual place?"

"Sounds good...see you then. Have a good night." Pippa gave Louisa a hug and joined her friends as they exited the room.

Holly stopped by and let her know they would be in the hotel bar so she could join them when she was ready. "I still wished you come shopping with me. I saw so many MARVELOUS things that would be perfect for you. How about coming out tomorrow before you leave."

"I don't mean to seem antisocial, Holly, but I still have business to finish up," Louisa stated. "I can't."

"Well, what is all this "business" then? I hoped we could spend some more time together." Holly pouted.

Louisa cringed a bit at her friend's behavior, but then Holly was Holly and always had been that way. Fortunately, Louisa knew more about her friend's generosity and honesty than most did, otherwise she would have chucked her years ago.

"Look, Holly, I'm dealing with some family business regarding Martin and James. I have to do this now. I'll never have a better time. We'll have a girl's weekend or break sometime soon. Now that I see James is doing fine it will be a lot easier, will that be ok?"

Holly pulled a face. "Well, who thought Doctor husband would be so high maintenance?"

Louisa glared, but just a little.

"Ok, ok, I apologize," Holly said. "I'll see you in the Tavern."

As Holly walked off Louisa spotted Dr. Carswell and got up to join him at his table. All sorts of alumni were shaking his hand and having their final farewells as she sat down next to him.

"I enjoyed you speech, Professor," she said. "It's sometimes hard to maintain inspiration when reality bares its teeth everyday."

Dr. Carswell turned to her. "You know me, Louisa, I'm not really a "rah rah" sort of person. I always temper myself with a foot planted firmly on the ground, but I have realized the future is inevitable, and is where our focus should be. When we constantly focus on the past we become stagnant. What's done is done...and truly, we have just one place on which we should focus...ahead."

Louisa hesitated, reflecting on what Dr. Carswell had said. "But we can learn from the past, and there are things to be cherished from there."

"That is true," Dr. Carswell acknowledged. "All I am trying to get at is that we, as educators, can't do anything about those things...oh yes we can reflect and wish "if only", but the only way we can change things is to look ahead. It's just where I am today. Oh yes, remember that Ellingham thing I couldn't recall? I remembered an announcement in the paper. If I remember correctly, I think it said that witchy woman had married some elderly lord. That certainly shocked me, to say the least."

"Yes, I found that too, and thank you for thinking of it. I've enjoyed talking to you, Professor. As always, you given me lots of things to think about. I'll miss that." Louisa smiled.

Dr. Carswell took her hand. "If I get down Cornwall way, would it be possible to look you up? I'm happy to see you're doing well and I'd love to meet that family of yours and see your facility. Oh, and since we're colleagues now, maybe you could call me Tim?"

Louisa laughed. "I'd love you to visit. Remember, my village is Portwenn. Calling you Tim? I'm afraid that will never happen, but I hope that's ok with you?"

They shared a brief embrace. It was so good for Louisa to reunite with her mentor. "Goodbye, Louisa, and you take care...I mean that honestly," he said. Louisa got up and went to join Holly in the Tavern.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Bugger," said Louisa as she struggled with the door of her room. She was visiting with friends downstairs in the Tavern and had somehow lost track of time...a bit. Her watch had said 9:50 when she quickly excused herself, saying goodbye to all those friends with whom she had reunited. It had been an altogether pleasant time, with a few exceptions, but unfortunately it was now 9:59. She was almost at the time of Martin's phone curfew.

"Never after 10:00 pm." That was the rule, but after she had opened the door and unceremoniously dumped her possessions on the extra bed, she decided to risk the call. She kicked her shoes off and reclined in an easy chair. One ring...two rings...three rings…

"Good evening, Louisa, how are you?" Martin's voice answered on the other side of the line.

"Martin...oh Martin, I'm sorry to call you so late, but I got into this conversation with an old.."

"Louisa, don't worry. I knew it was you. You don't have to apologize. To be honest, I was waiting for your call. I was brushing my teeth, so it took me a moment to answer."

Martin sounded perfectly calm.

Louisa was a bit puzzled. Martin's telephone rules were usually cast in stone, so she was taken aback by his mood. "So you're not cross with me?" she inquired, wondering what was going on.

"No, no….I would have been worried if you hadn't called. Thank you for doing so." Martin hesitated a second. "Louisa?"

She was wondering if everything was alright. "Oh, Martin, yes. It's good to hear your voice. How is James?"

"Well, Janice said he had a good time at the playground playing with some other children. There were no incidents there. After I finished surgery he had a fine dinner and bath and we talked about you."

Louisa smiled. "Oh that's so nice Martin, thank you for bringing me up."

"I didn't have to, he did. He pointed at your picture and we had a long, in depth discussion about where you were, what you were doing and when you were coming home. He was quite excited about that prospect." Martin had a highly particular way of making chattering with a two year old sound like a philosophical debate. Louisa loved it. It was another part of Martin that she absolutely adored. He could be serious and funny at the same time.

"And how are you, Martin, how are you holding up?" she asked.

"Well, now I'm a bit tired and I'm afraid I might have to stop talking for two or three days to recover. That won't bother you too much, will it? I'm afraid I'm not very good at this."

"Oh my darling husband, I have to disagree with you there," Louisa countered. "You are a fine Daddy and an even finer husband. I'll see you tomorrow early evening."

Louisa told Martin a little bit about her meeting, not too much, because it would exceed his detail threshold. They discussed pick-up plans at Bodmin and said a private goodnight. "I didn't say anything about Margaret," she thought. "I think that's probably for the best, since I'll finish my mission tomorrow." She washed up and got ready for bed….to sleep without baby monitors or any chances of crying. Still luxury.

Morning came quickly but Louisa felt rested and refreshed. She joined Pippa for breakfast at the appointed time. As she felt a little queasy, she also knew that it would be better after getting something in her stomach. She also knew she would need a pregnancy test and a long discussion with Martin after she got home. It would be easy to test herself here, while she was in London, but she really wanted Martin to experience this pregnancy from Day 1, and that would be best done at home. Having another baby, with a toddler in the house, would be hard work for both of them, but another son or daughter as a sibling for James made her revel in excitement and joy. "To the future" as Dr. Carswell had said.

"So," said Pippa upon joining her. "What's all this "business" you've been up to here in town? You've spent a good chunk of time on your own."

Louisa thought before formulating her answer. Pippa would find out soon enough, as she would hopefully be carrying Grandpa Henry's clock back to Portwenn this afternoon. "Ok Pippa, do you remember when Martin's Mum came to visit last year ago or so? She was a beastly woman. In any case, when she left, she took Martin's grandfather's clock with her. I visited with her and asked her to give it back. That's all."

"Oh yes," she replied. "Word around town was that she was horrible! What do you mean she took the clock? Didn't it belong to her, too?

Louisa looked straight at her very close friend and colleague. "Joan had put her father's clock away as an heirloom for Martin. Apparently he held Grandpa Henry in very high esteem...he even mentioned him to me once or twice. Margaret took that clock without Martin's knowledge. She actually stole it right before leaving the house!"

Pippa's eyes were wide open. "Oh, Louisa, Doc can be a handful, but even he doesn't deserve to have his property stolen, especially if it was important to him."

"Exactly," Louisa replied. "So I paid a call on her yesterday. I asked for the clock back. She said to come back today after she dug it out of storage. That's where I'm going shortly."

"How was it, seeing her again? Do you need some moral support? I'd be happy to come with you, and back you up." Pippa was a loyal friend.

"She was awful...hasn't changed changed a bit, except for marrying some decrepit old Lord and living in the lap of luxury, and that really didn't surprise me at all. She's a conniving old bitch, if you'll excuse my language. She will do anything to get what she wants, no matter who is hurt in the process. Taking Martin's clock was just one more twist of the knife she's had inside him, since the day he was born. If you knew what he's gone through, as I do, you wonder why he's not more unusual than he is anyway. This is something I have to do myself, for Martin, because I really do love him." Louisa had fire in her eyes.

"Well that's brilliant!" Pippa replied. "I sort of love the old Doc too, when I see how he makes you feel, and when I see how much he loves James. Ok, I'll go do my shopping and meet you up in your room after your mission. Sounds like the old bitch needs a few choice words. Give me the key and I'll move my bags."

"Thanks Pippa, but there'll be no harsh words from me. I'm walking on tenterhooks here and all I want is to bring the old clock home. Wish me luck." With that, Louisa picked up her bag and walked out to flag a taxi. She was intent on her mission, but filled with apprehension...yes, a bit of fear as well.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Louisa had the taxi let her off a few blocks away from Margaret's opulent home. A bit of walking and fresh air would help steel her for the undoubtedly unpleasant experience that lie ahead. She reached the front gate, smoothed her clothes and took a deep breath before ringing the bell. "This is for Martin," she thought. "I'll get the clock back and it will be even. She'll never take anything from him again." The door opened and the butler faced her again. "Louisa Ellingham to see you m'lady," he announced very formally into the parlor. "Show her in, Franklin, and then please go away. This is a highly personal matter," Margaret's voice answered from within. Louisa stepped tentatively into the parlor and Franklin quickly took his leave.

"This is a show home," thought Louisa. The parlor was immaculately clean with pieces of sculpture and expensive fine art paintings on every wall. Margaret was poised, almost like a statue in one of the chairs, looking amazingly beautiful in a cream colored sheath with jewelry pieces of gold enhancing her breast and ears. It seemed almost surreal, but Louisa had to keep her wits about her and focus on what she had come here for. The clock was placed on an end table, totally beautiful, if a little dusty. If only she could just grab it and run away. But that was not to be. There were negotiations to be made.

"Hello, Louise, I wasn't sure you would come back," Margaret said deferentially.

Louisa suppressed her bit of temper. "It's Louis-a, Margaret, and I'm just here to reclaim Grandpa Henry's clock. It meant a lot to Martin and he worked hours on restoring it. I just want it for Martin and James and anyone who could come along after them." "Cool, Louisa, just keep cool," she thought. Margaret continued to speak.

"Well, whatever you've thought," said Margaret. "There is more to the story of our lives than you know...you see, I grew up in a household of limited means. There was barely enough food on the table. All of us struggled to get by."

"I see," said Louisa. "And I can more than understand. There is more hunger in my background than I care to remember, but I've chosen to put those thoughts into the back of my mind. What I have now is so much more joyful."

Margaret turned to her. "You see, my heritage was French, and my poor father and mother worked like dogs to keep us alive. At one point, my cousin, Gilbert, visited us from Paris. The family we had left back there lived the lives of noblemen. My father had been expelled for marrying a common Englishwoman, my Mother. Gilbert came shortly after my fourteenth birthday and took a shine to me right away. He was an odd looking man, with big ears and a ridiculously large head. Apparently, my parents had given him carte blanche to whatever he wanted from me, for a piddling remuneration. He took me...he robbed me of any innocence I had, but, in the end, he left me to rot back in England, under my parents' care. I languished as so much damaged goods."

Louisa's eyes were open wide. "I'm so sorry about that..I had no idea."

"No need to worry, young woman, I was wise beyond my years. I was never to be a victim again." Margaret uncrossed her legs and walked towards the picture window. "From then on, I controlled my own destiny."

Louisa hesitated. "But I thought you were at public school with Aunt Ruth? Ruth Ellingham? That couldn't have been inexpensive?"

Margaret laughed dryly as she stared out the window. It was not a laugh of humor, but more a laugh of irony. "Certain traits ran in the family, young lady. I daresay my father slept with the hideous headmistress numbers of times until she would allow me to be admitted to the school. She was a dried up crust of a woman. I can only imagine how that must have been for him...however, I chose not to dwell on it. It opened many new doors."

"I had no idea you went through that," said Louisa.

"No one has any idea what I went through, my dear. That is why I am telling you." Margaret settled into her chair once again. "Please, sit down, Louise, I'm not done telling you the complete truth."

Louisa sat in a side chair with much trepidation. Margaret Ellingham had her thoroughly spooked.

"At school, I met Christopher Ellingham through Ruth. As I told you before, he was a beautiful man...blonde haired with beautiful blue eyes….I was totally taken. And I had never met someone as totally calculating in his pursuit of his medical career as I was of a certain lifestyle. Fortunately he had talent, probably he inherited from his father, Henry. We connected on so many different levels, not the least was our carnal connection."

Louisa sat, totally overwhelmed by what was being presented to her. "Margaret, this seems like too much personal information. I don't know if I want to hear any more."

Margaret stared her down. "Be brave, little girl, and listen to a woman's story. I would do things to Christopher and let him do things to me that no one would know. He might have his dalliances, but he always came home to me. Until one day I found myself pregnant. I cursed that diaphragm up and down. This was not meant to be. I tried old wive's tale solutions and threw myself down the stairs. Nothing would put the pregnancy to an end and I stopped short of the coat hanger in the alley. I wouldn't go there for fear it would end my life."

Louisa was dumbfounded. "So what did you do?"

"Well, you know...Martin came without my approval. I thought perhaps it would bring Christopher and I together, in an innocent fashion. I had a little hope, but instead he rejected me in a visceral sort of way, as I had borne a child, I was no longer to be fit to be a lover. He was no longer there for me and I was destined to be a matron...never to love again."

"I'm so sorry, Margaret, that must have been horrible. Martin has been even more loving since James Henry has come into our life." Louisa attempted to lighten the mood.

Margaret stared at her with more bitterness. "That is disgusting! I have absolutely no interest in the sex habits of that monstrosity you call my son! Please stop it!"

Louisa collected herself. She'd reminded herself that she was there for the clock, nothing else, and had to keep an even keel when it came to Martin. This evil woman had belittled her husband and her son. She wanted to explode.

Margaret turned toward the window again. "And you know what was the worse thing? As the child grew, I knew, very quickly, that he resembled my cousin Gilbert with his big head and full lips, as well as his long lean body. I could never look at him without thinking of the man who took my childhood...no matter how gentle it had been. All the passion with Christopher was gone and I had nothing to look forward to. I was and am dead inside.

"Well, Margaret, I am so sorry for what you went through, and I am sorry for what you put Martin through. I love him, you see, no matter what you say," pleaded Louisa. "All I want is to take the clock back to him and we'll leave your life. It's obvious that you don't understand what family is. Just let me have the clock.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Well," said Margaret. "You accuse me of not understanding family, when, in truth, I understand it better than you could ever imagine. Family is the most common cause of discord in anyone's life. Losing Christopher was the single most destructive event in my existence. How someone who had loved me with such passion could leave me so coldly was more than I could endure. He was there physically, but there was no passion. I never forgave myself for being pregnant."

"Margaret," said Louisa. "Your pain has made Martin into what he is today. He is socially inept, intolerant and totally removed from anything he experiences emotionally. I love him because I can see the man he is inside...actually sensitive and caring, as well as generous. All I want is to take that clock back to him to pass down to our son, and the baby I am carrying now."

Margaret shifted in her chair. "So you're pregnant again, young woman? I find it disgusting that you would have carnal relations with my monstrosity of a son. The thought of it makes me nauseated."

At that moment, Louisa decided the discussion was over. It was time to get the clock. "Margaret," Louisa demanded. "Give me that clock, now...and I will be gone."

Margaret picked up the clock with sure hands. "If you really want this clock, then here it is for you!"

With that declaration she took the clock into both hands and with all her strength, smashed it onto the floor, sending broken glass and random springs all over. She followed that with a foot into the center of the mechanism...destroying it even more.

Louisa could hold back no longer. "I...truly I can't believe you did that. Did you really do that? That is the most hateful thing I've ever seen. You deserve to live with that shriveled old man in this hell forever. Martin is alive...despite what you did to him he is alive. He has a wife and a son, and another one on the way. You will never hurt him anymore, though. I believe the destruction of this clock will make him unhappy, but that will make you glad. Give me a few minutes to pick up these pieces, but please leave while I do it. Being with you is making me sick. You won't hurt us again."

"What I have just done is to destroy cousin Gilbert, and destroy anything that Christopher and his family has done to me. It also is to destroy that loveless son that I gave birth to...after he came nothing was the same again." Margaret looked in pain at what she had done. Louisa almost noticed a hint of regret.

Margaret exited the parlor dramatically, and Franklin came in to help her gather the pieces into her tote. "I'm sorry ma'am," he said. "I was hoping this wouldn't happen." I'm sorry too," Louisa replied, gathering broken fragments. "I hope you can make a decision about where you want to work in the future." "I am considering it m'lady, believe me, I am" he replied.

Louisa left the house with devastated spirits and a broken, fragmented clock in her tote bag. She wept mightily while walking for a number of blocks and finally flagged a taxi, back to the Hilton. She had failed. Grandfather Henry's clock was in pieces. Margaret Ellingham was even more alienated from the family she had created and all that Martin had held in esteem was destroyed.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Louisa was bereft. She was so sad, in that she had sought out Margaret, something that Martin would have never condoned, but her grief became deeper when she looked at the smashed clock in her bag. She had failed, on so many different levels. Blinded by tears, she just about stumbled into her room at the hotel.

Pippa was sitting at the desk, on her laptop, when Louisa poured into the room. "Oh god, Louisa, what happened? You look like someone just died. Tell me, girlfriend, what happened, then what can I do to help?"

Pippa was a good friend. She listened to Louisa's story with rapt attention.

"And then she stepped on it, as if making sure the clock would never work again. It's in my bag...this is horrible. What am I going to tell Martin?" Louisa couldn't hold back the tears and sobbed through the whole story.

Pippa drew her in for a hug. "Look, luv, we have a train to catch. Let's get ourselves together and make it so. Then you'll have a few hours to think things through. This is too fresh. You are still bleeding. A few hours of quiet will do you good. I'm so sorry, Louisa, but you'll get through this one way or another….you always do."

Louisa gathered her belongings and they called for help with their luggage. A quick taxi trip to Paddington and they were settled in their seats for the ride home to Bodmin Station. Louisa hesitantly left a message for Martin, letting him know the time of their arrival. She knew he was working and actually liked that she hadn't had to talk to him. There was too much she had to say. There was too much to be sorry for. She knew he would be there, on the dot. Martin Ellingham was always on time, come hell or high water…..

The sound of the train lulled Louisa into a drifting sleep. Martin and James Henry waited for her on the beach. She had the bag with her and ran as the bag tore open, leaving its detritus on the sand. An elderly man appeared and looked up at her with disdain as he attempted to pick up the pieces of the clock, which were strewn all over the beach. Martin carried James and they ran towards her until they spotted the broken clock all over the ground. She tried to run towards them, but for some reason she couldn't move. The elderly man approached Martin with the face of the clock and motioned towards her. Martin and James and the elderly man looked at her and proceeded to walk away. She tried to call out to them but they walked away. She was paralyzed on the beach while her men walked away...further and further. She was so lonely..so lonely...and she cried out…

"Another dream?" asked Pippa, as she held Louisa's hand while she emerged from her twilight. "You didn't scream as loud this time, but I could tell it wasn't good." Louisa opened her eyes and recovered her bearings. "Thanks Pippa, I'm so sorry. I was dreaming about Martin and the reality of this old clock." She shifted her gaze to the mess in the bag at her feet.

Pippa took both her hands. "Look, I don't want you looking at that stuff any longer. Zip up the top and put it away. We have families to go home to. I have Charlie and the boys...you have Martin and James. That is real. So stop ruminating on something that makes not one damn difference, and the broken clock in that silly bag doesn't make any difference at all. Put that all aside until you want to discuss it. Even then it won't mean a tinker's damn. Our families do."

Louisa stopped crying and went to the loo to wash her face. By the time that they arrived at Bodmin Station she felt almost normal. There was still trepidation, but she realized she could address that when she was ready. They spotted Martin and James on the platform as they descended the train.

James jumped up and down when he spotted her. "Mummy, oh gaww, Mummy" he cried out running across the platform on sturdy legs. Martin looked at her with that gaze that meant everything. He observed as his strong little boy ran into his mother's arms. "The trains..whoo whoo…" She hugged James with every fiber of her being, looking at Martin the whole time, with his perfect suit and close cropped hair, looking handsome, as always. He was helping Pippa with her bags as Louisa carried on a discussion with her son. "Yes, James, I know you and Daddy like the big trucks...that must have been fun." He was sentient, finally, and oh so close to being able to communicate. Martin put her bags in the boot and looked at Louisa. It was time to go home.

They dropped Pippa home and the twins came running. Martin unloaded her bags and accepted her gratitude. She put her head into the car and said, "Remember, Louisa, all in your own time...other things are more important now." The rest of the ride was spent keeping James awake, because if they could a reasonable sleep could be expected for all. While bathing James, the parents had their own reunion. James paid no attention as his parents shared their hello. Having them both in the same room was a thrill enough in itself.

Louisa was drinking in the feeling of togetherness and tossed the tote bag into the closet. There were better times to broach that topic. For now, it was James and his odd, but lovable father. These were the type of times where Martin shined...no outsiders involved...he could be the way he wanted to be...and no one ever knew. Louisa knew Martin like no one else. It was difficult, as no one else knew, but it was the most special part of their life. His fingers, caressing her nipples were enough to keep her awake.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Louisa woke up very early the next morning. Morning was just starting to steal the darkness of night. She ever so slowly and carefully disengaged her body from the back of the sleeping Martin, reluctant to give up the lovely warmth that sleeping with him provided, and put on her dressing gown. Stealthily she tiptoed down the stairs into the laundry room and checked under the sink. Her bag was still where she had hidden it, full of the sad remains of Grandfather Henry's clock. Martin was so neat and well organized that she harbored the fear that he might check anywhere in the house, perhaps just doing an inventory to see that everything was in its proper place. Anywhere was fair game to him and she realized how dangerous it was to hide something material from him, as well it was how dishonest it was for her to withhold truth. She felt the tears building up in her eyes and fought off the terrible feeling she had. What was Martin going to think about her visiting Margaret? How furious was he going to be?

She quietly closed the cabinet and went up the stairs just in time to hear James calling, "Mummy….Mummy...out...Mummy...out." She went into his room to find her rosy, tousled little boy standing in his cot, ready to start the day. She talked to him and cuddled and changed his nappy which must have weighed half a stone. He was getting so big. She heard Martin stirring in the bedroom and bath. Why did men make those awful noises? Even Martin, as prim and proper as he was, made them. She laughed at the prospect of the village knowing that!

As Louisa turned on the kettle, she thought about what she should do. Morning wasn't time for an issue like this even though the weight of the secret hung on her like a boulder. Martin had to see patients and she had to go to school. It would have to wait until later...neither of them would be able to work after a discussion like this could generate. It would be tonight.

"Louisa, good morning," said Martin, kissing her gently on the head. "I see James didn't have a lie in."

"Good morning, Martin," she said, with a half-hearted smile. "He never does, does he?" Her long day had just begun.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Louisa's day slogged on forever, it seemed. She was bogged down in make-up work and the extinguishing of little personal fires that had arisen in the brief time she'd been gone, so she shouldn't have had time to dwell on the task ahead. But she did. Her mind went back to that awful time a year or so ago when her marriage was in such shambles. She really knew Martin was sick, in his mind and soul at the time, but something inside her had said, "No, Martin couldn't be sick. He's Martin...and that couldn't happen." All she knew is that she couldn't take it anymore and had to get out of Portwenn, and away from Martin, or she would lose herself entirely. Her Mum had left her an open invitation, so Spain was the logical place to go.

Later that day, at the airport, she unfortunately had run into Margaret, who had Martin's clock in her bag. Louisa recalled specifically asking about the it and whether Martin had given it to her. She had said, "Yes, he has his moments...few and far between." The gall of the woman!

Once Louisa had returned from Spain, and the whole mess of reconciliation had passed, when she asked him where Grandpa Henry's clock was he had given her the typical Martin answer. "Errr...uhm...I may have put it away somewhere...it didn't keep very good time anyway...always a little fast." She caught him in a fib. He had no idea that she knew the truth, but he obviously did not want to broach the subject. Margaret had stolen that clock! She had taken, from him, the one small memento of his Grandfather that still existed, not to mention that Auntie Joan had probably kept it just for him..something special. The anger she felt was what drove her to see Margaret in London. If she could have done something to hurt the old witch, she wasn't sure that she would have held back.

Later, over dinner, Louisa wondered if Martin was the same man she had married. He seemed to be almost "chatty"... for Martin, that is.

"...then James and I came back from seeing the trucks and we discussed the difference between a bulldozer and a front end loader. It was an altogether satisfying conversation."

Louisa smiled. "It sounds like James must have been exhausted. What fun for him."

"He wasn't as exhausted as I had hoped and later he showed some interest in using the lavatory," Martin added.

"Oh Martin, you took him in with you? That is so great. You are a brilliant Daddy," she gushed.

"Well, actually, I didn't have much choice, but, I have studied the methodology and a number of studies and it is clear that children of James' age pick up the vast majority of their skills and knowledge by imitation and example. I will tell you he was thrilled and had some success...once."

Louisa looked over at her happy, messy son. "James, you are getting so big!" He raised his hands over his head and said, "SOOOO big!"

Martin paused. "I thought that if we could get rid of nappies sooner rather than later that the house wouldn't smell so much."

"What did you say, Martin?" Louisa questioned pausing a second. "Martin, we are very careful with our nappies. Our house does NOT smell like nappies."

"Well, it does...sometimes...I can smell it," he replied.

"Well, then I throw it into the bin and the smell goes away." This is where Louisa had learned so much in those troubling weeks after his return from Spain. Martin was an unusual man. He sometimes said ridiculous things….but that was Martin. Not everything had to turn into a row and certainly what he had just said was not meant as an affront to her. It was her prerogative to brush it off.

She got up and started clearing the table and turned to look Martin straight in the face. "Martin Ellingham, you are undoubtedly in the 99.8th percentile when it comes to olfactory sensitivity. You could probably moonlight as a bloodhound. This is how I see it….you cook garlic in your kitchen...your house smells like garlic. Someone in this family cooks a lot of fish...your house smells like fish….but it's not for long and there's nothing you can do about it, but listen to me, our house doesn't smell like nappies. She bent over to collect more dishes and gave Martin a loving tap on the back of the head. Sometimes, Martin, drink your tea."

After the washing up, it was time for James' bath, which Martin volunteered to do. "Martin," said Louisa. "Let's see if he'll go down a little early. We have to talk. I'll be up up to kiss him goodnight."

Martin wasn't perfect though. A quiet "Oh Gawd" slipped out as he climbed the stairs. Louisa sat, exhausted and wondered what she was going to say.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Louisa and Martin put James to bed together. That being done, Louisa headed back down the stairs to finish the last of the washing up. She sat at the table with her head in her hands, so weary from the demands of the day and particularly from the extra burden of her soon to be sad revelation. Tears welled up in her eyes and began to drip through her fingers despite every effort she made to hold them back. "Bugger," she thought, because she had started to sniff, too. No covering this up.

Martin came down the stairs in his pajamas and dressing gown and how she wished he hadn't. Somehow without his "suit of armor" he looked so soft and vulnerable, not the impervious and rigid persona he presented to others. Louisa made a quick effort to stop her tears and smiled as best she could.

"Martin, why are you in your pajamas? It's only 8 o'clock."

Picking up a medical journal, sitting on the sofa, he replied, "Our son managed to soak me to the skin while I was bathing him, despite my best efforts. I thought I'd get more comfortable." He absentmindedly leafed through the first few pages of the publication, not noticing her tears. Louisa smoothed her blouse and sat next to him, looking over his shoulder at the journal. Reaching her arm around him she slipped in, kissing him, which distracted him from his reading and left him gazing into her beautiful eyes.

"Louisa, are you crying?" he asked. "I'm sorry, I won't bring up the nappy issue again."

"Oh, Martin...that's not it. I have something I have to tell you about and I'm afraid, because it was probably a horrible thing to do. I hope you won't be furious with me."

"Yes?" His cool deportment always left her a little off balance. It was important for her to remember that it was not that he didn't care, he was just a man of few words.

"Well," she began. "We've talked about your Mum's demand for money when she was here and you've told me how you sent her away. Well, what I haven't told you is that I saw your Mum in the airport, before I left for Spain and noticed that she had your Grandfather's clock. She told me that you gave it to her, but I couldn't imagine you did. When I asked you about it later, you glossed over it, saying you put it away or it didn't keep time or something equally evasive. Then it occurred to me...she had stolen your clock...Grandpa Henry's clock, that you spent countless hours restoring.."

"Yes..uhm," was all he could manage.

"Don't talk Martin. Let me finish what I have to say," Louisa continued. "I was infuriated and stayed infuriated all this time. It sounds like your Grandfather is the only person that ever showed any interest in you at all, and she took that last little heirloom from you to kick you in the arse once more as she slithered her way out. I was furious!"

"Louisa, yes, she did take the clock. I realized that after she had left, but felt it was my sacrifice to get rid of her forever. I don't want to see her again. In a way I really didn't care.."

Louisa looked straight at him. "Martin, I'm not sure I believe that entirely...hear me out. When I was in London, I did a bit of research. Did you know that Margaret married an elderly lord that she had seduced that also happens to be worth a fortune?"

"Yes, Ruth keeps me apprised of such developments," he answered.

"Why don't you tell me these things, Martin?" Louisa implored. "Well, I went and visited your Mum at her opulent new home in Kensington. I demanded that she give me the clock back. I did it for you, Martin. I didn't want her to take away everything!"

Martin sat silently and looked straight ahead, focusing on nothing apparent to Louisa.

"Forgive me," she said, "I did it for you….and James."

Silence...Louisa would almost have preferred an animated tirade, but Martin sat silently. Finally, he spoke. "Louisa, when I sent her away I wanted her to be gone...I wanted to deprive her of any contact with us or James and to live out the rest of her days without the pleasure of making us suffer. You reopened old wounds doing what you did and I should be furious...but I'm not….because I do realize you had us in mind...and I don't want to deny you your deliverance. I think I already have mine. I'm sorry you had that experience."

Louisa finally broke down in sobs, asking Martin to forgive her. She buried her head into his chest and noticed tears in his eyes when he gazed back at her. She knew that she had done something wrong, but Martin's forgiveness made it all much less painful. What she had sitting under the sink was much more hurtful.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Louisa withdrew from Martin's embrace and looked at his face. It was the look he gave her that made her feel adored. Sometimes when he looked that way she had an overwhelming sense of unworthiness because in her unusual man his love for her ran deeper than anything else. He could be so abrasive on the outside but she knew he was different on the inside. She felt particularly unworthy right then because of what she had done behind Martin's back, but he seemed to understand her good intentions.

"Martin," she said. "I know you are impatient when it comes to an overload of perhaps irrelevant details, so I will keep my story as concise and on point the best I can."

"That will be much appreciated, but this time, I promise to listen to every word. I think you need that right now. Am I right?" Martin answered.

Louisa almost smiled. "You are right, Martin. Now stay here and I'll be right back." She went to the laundry room to get her bag from under the sink. The sound of glass tinkling and metal reshifting as she picked it up reminded her of just how sad and angry she was. "Damn you Margaret! How could she have done such an evil and unnecessarily destructive thing?"

Martin had picked up his journal again while Louisa was out of the room. He didn't notice the bag as she placed it by the sofa. "Well...this explanation is convoluted, so be patient," she explained.

Louisa began by telling the story of the young Dr. Carswell and his visit to the Ellingham's the day of the photo shoot and of how Timothy Carswell had encountered Martin as a child. She continued with how her interest had been piqued and her subsequent computer search had been initiated. "I should have stopped right there, but when I read of her marriage to Lord Crawley I became more and more angry at the fact that despite how horrid Margaret is, she still continues to manipulate and profit. I could tell she treated that old man like dirt."

"Not a surprise," Martin replied laconically, staring straight ahead, with no emotion.

In continuing, Louisa also mentioned the story of Cousin Gilbert and how his mother had been so damaged by the relationship.

"It was consensual, Uncle Gilbert told me. It was interesting to see where this face came from, in any case." Martin continued to look ahead, playing with his fingers.

"Then she continued with the ugliest, most venomous things she could say about you and me and our family. Oh Martin, I'm so sorry. I wish I had never gone." Louisa was crying freely by this time. "And then I asked her to give me Grandfather Henry's clock. It was sitting on the table beside her in that very room."

There was a heavy pause between them until Louisa grabbed her bag from the floor beside the sofa and laid it in front of Martin, the broken bits tinkling inside.

"She picked up the clock to give it to me...and then SHE SMASHED IT ONTO THE FLOOR! Oh Martin, she destroyed your clock and it's all because of me! I'm so, so, very sorry. You don't deserve this." Louisa became distraught with grief.

Martin opened the bag and stared at the myriad pieces of metal, wood and glass. He picked up the clock face, now devoid of its crystal and toyed with the hands, still in place. He picked up a shard of colorful, decorative glass, carefully folded it into his hand and put his fist to his forehead, bowing his head and closing his eyes. Louisa saw tears welling up in his eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder. He absently dropped the pieces of the clock back into the bag and lifted out a piece of broken wood paneling. It said, "ingham 1867." They both gazed at the lettering.

Martin lifted his head and blinked his eyes. He would not cry. "My grandfather inherited this clock from his father. He was estranged from my father and when I was five he let me know he would put it away for me."

"I thought Grandfather Henry was a strict man himself? Joan and Ruth hinted at that," Louisa questioned. "Why did he say that to you?"

"Yes, he was strict, and unfair sometimes, but he wasn't cruel. I think when he saw how my father behaved he became more interested in me. He was a talented surgeon and a brilliant man. I think my quest for perfection and order came from him," Martin answered. "I have mentioned that he gave me a frog when I was five and we dissected it together?"

Louisa nodded.

"Well we sewed it back up again. Those were my first sutures. I knew that the frog was dead but I remember being really impressed that we could sew it up and make it look almost normal. I think that affected me greatly at the time." Martin looked at Louisa. It was clear that he was frightened to be sharing so much of his inner life with anyone else. In his mind there were things no one else could or should know, ever.

"Well, that's enough of that. It's unfortunate that such a beautiful antique was destroyed."

Marin put on his usual impassive expression and closed the bag, picking up his journal and perusing the contents again.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Louisa moved and entwined her arm around Martin's. She leaned into him and kissed him lightly on the ears and neck. Martin, typically, cleared his throat and adjusted his position. She didn't want to be obviously seductive, but she knew he loved the attention. "Martin, what did you think when your grandfather presented you with the frog?"

He cleared his throat again, forcing his attention onto his article. "It's really not very interesting."

"But Martin, I really want to know," she stated. "Where were you? What did you say? What did your grandfather say?"

Martin looked mildly exasperated but when he looked in his beautiful wife's eyes he could not resist...which was as it should be. "Alright...but just this once," he replied.

"I believe it was my birthday, although you wouldn't know it, when we visited with Grandfather Henry and my grandmother. Father had some financial dealings that he needed to discuss with his father. My grandparents had a large house in Holland Park, with extensive grounds for a city home. I always found something to interest me out of doors which kept me out of trouble. That day Grandfather came out and called me inside. I wondered what I had done because I was always very naughty." Martin shifted and sat up in his seat as if thinking about the incident caused him anxiety.

"Go on Martin…," urged Louisa.

"Oh, this is irrelevant," Martin groused.

"No, it isn't. I make it a policy of listening to as many childhood stories as I can. You don't know how peoples' memories can help me with the students at school." Louisa felt a little guilty for the little white lie, but she wasn't sure she could keep Martin talking unless he felt he was doing something necessary and scientifically beneficial. When he perceived it as a pragmatic undertaking he relaxed and continued.

"My grandfather led me into his study which was intimidating, but on my arrival he showed me what was on his desk. He had a pithed frog in a dissecting tray, prepped and ready to work on. It horrified me that the frog's heart was beating and intestines working as we explored, but he assured me the animal felt no pain. He showed me anatomy and discussed the physiology of the creature in the hours that followed. He finally said, "This is enough."..and made the heart stop. I didn't realize the impact at the time, but it came back to haunt me later…but that's not important, sorry." He shifted in his seat again and looked at Louisa sheepishly. Talking this much was really stretching Martin's comfort level.

"Martin, I'm knackered," said Louisa. "Let's go to bed."

It was a quiet and perplexed Martin Ellingham that climbed those stairs that night. The things that he had said this evening were things he'd never verbalized before and, in fact, he had never planned to tell anyone, ever. Why was he telling Louisa? He truthfully wasn't sure, but put it out of his mind otherwise he would never sleep. He left the bag with the broken parts on the floor where it lay. Bad enough he had the grief of his mother destroying his precious grandfather's clock, but to ruminate on the story he was telling would guarantee no sleep at all. Only when Louisa, with all her fragrance and warmth, placed herself at his side that,peace set in.

The next day was routine...a blessing from Martin's point of view, as he hoped to spend some time with his wife and child in the evening. The on-call rota took over at 5 pm and Martin went to the fishmonger for scallops for their dinner. James ate early and Martin and his son walked up the path to the top of the hill where James took out his trucks and played. Louisa stayed home making an adult dinner that she and Martin would enjoy after their son fell asleep, which proceeded without a hitch.

Later, Martin picked up Louisa's bag and dumped the pieces of the clock on a drop cloth in his consulting room. There was no possibility in hell that he could put the thing together, but he wanted to look at it in any case. He picked out springs and gears and wooden panels with more inscriptions. He found one saying "To Martin Ellingham...1969...H.E." He was lost in thought when Louisa came in with tea. She was wearing jeans and a sweater and looked soft and comfortable.

"Hello Martin, I have tea for you'" said Louisa as she stared as the pile of metal and glass and wood on the floor. "Wow, that's quite the mess."

"Yes," Martin answered.

She curled up on his patient's chair and watched him pick through the pieces.

"Louisa," he said. "Is there something that you need?"

"No, I'm just watching you," she answered. "I'm not making you nervous, am I?"

Martin was silent and kept his eyes on his work. "Um, no." He answered tentatively. Minutes passed. "Alright Louisa, what do you want?"

She had learned to ignore his cranky delivery. "I want to know the rest of of your story...what happened after you dissected the frog?"

"That's my personal business, Louisa. What if I want to keep it to myself?" He shifted in his seat.

"Martin, I'm your wife...we've talked about the importance of sharing before, plus it helps me be a better teacher. I've told you that before," Louisa replied. "Come into the sitting room and tell me more."

Martin took her hand and joined Louisa on the sofa. She helped him out of his jacket and loosened his tie, inviting him to sit beside her. He sighed as he sunk into the chair. Louisa covered him with soft kisses and when their mouths met they could feel the fire.

"Tell me Martin, what happened with Grandfather Henry? I really would like to know," she almost purred. Martin knew he was under her spell.

"I'll tell you once Louisa, but this will be the last time. I am in a vulnerable position because of you, you know. I love you, Louisa," he surrendered. "Let me remember where we were."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"You were telling me about dissecting the frog." Louisa encouraged him to speak further. "Grandfather Henry was summoned by your Father after you finished the project."

Martin shifted again in his seat. These were revelations he never wanted to share, so Louisa felt privileged that he acquiesced to her request for more information. He would not have told her unless he trusted her implicitly. It was truly a testament to their love.

"Well, Grandfather and I had sutured the frog's wounds closed and even with my awkward stitching, I thought it was brilliant. I unpinned it from its mount, wanting to make it my own...firstly, to have a pet, and secondly it reminded me of a time when Grandfather Henry spent some time with me. No one spent much time with me back then. I was an ugly, awkward child and always in trouble..involved in fights and getting dirty. I can't blame my parents for not tolerating me. I was difficult." He turned to Louisa and saw the pain in her eyes.

"Don't worry about these things, Louisa," he said. "All this was so long ago...it means nothing today."

"Oh Martin, I just can't fathom the things you believe about yourself. Getting dirty isn't a sin...it's what healthy children do. And you couldn't have been as unattractive as you think you were, because you have grown into a tall, handsome man." Louisa needed him to know these things. "What happened next?" She questioned.

"I took the frog and stuffed it in my pocket. I was interested in studying it further and wanted to keep it with me as long as I could," he answered. "I carried it in my pocket in the car and everywhere I went for the next four days. Needless to say, it became malodorous and a bit slimy...but I still wanted to keep it. It was of scientific importance. A few days later, I walked into the kitchen. Mother was preparing a vase for some flowers she'd received and told me that I smelled hideous. She demanded that I empty my pockets so I put the frog on the table."

"Oh god, Martin...what happened then?" Louisa could only imagine Margaret's response to Martin's innocent fascination.

"Well, she screamed and dropped the vase on the floor. An errant piece of glass bounced up and lacerated me on the scalp. As is usual with scalp wounds, it bled prodigiously, all over the floor and all over me. My mother screamed for my Father who rushed into the room. He said, "What have you done now, you little bastard?" And they both grabbed my arms and threw me into the closet under the stairs."

"Martin, weren't you frightened?" Louisa queried.

" Now, this is very personal Louisa. If I didn't love you with all my heart I would never tell you. Please promise that this between us." He looked at his lover with intense, disturbed eyes. Louisa wondered how much worse this tale of abuse could get.

"I was in the dark closet, knowing certainly that I was the worst child that ever lived. I continued to bleed for hours until I was covered in blood and had swallowed it and had it hurt my eyes, I vomited and urinated and defecated into my pants despite every effort not to do so. The floor beneath me was covered with clotted, sticky blood. The walls were covered too. I vomited 2 more times and eventually fell asleep in the mess. I wanted to be done with living because I had to be the worst child that had ever existed, but I decided on another path," Martin explained, sitting up on the sofa. "I would never misbehave again."

Louisa's eyes were bolt open but filled with tears. She, herself, felt nauseated hearing Martin's story. No words that were adequate came into her mouth. Martin reached over, pulling her close, seemingly divorced from the tragedy that had transpired.

"Of course, my Mother let me out the next day, complaining about the filthy and smelly mess I had made and told my nanny to clean me up. The maid and I worked together to clean out the bloody closet as per my Mother's request. For some reason the maid was crying and I did my best to keep a stiff upper lip. I never did anything like that again. From then on I was the best son anyone could have."

Louisa could not staunch the flow of her tears. She could not think of the "right" thing to say after hearing Martin's story. She did manage to pull him up with both hands and lead him to their bed where she gently titillated him and coerced him into making love, as gently as she could. She wondered if she was trying to wash away his hurt, but decided that what they were doing is living in the present. That past was dead and gone and he would never suffer like that again.

They woke the next morning to James' calling, "Mummy, Dah, out…Mummy, out." Martin brought him into their bed where he had a grand time, especially when relieved of his ridiculously heavy nappy. Louisa did most of the playing but Martin had his eyes on her and James as they had fun with the blankets.

"I'll start breakfast," Martin said, putting on his dressing gown. "Neither of us has to go to work today, but that doesn't mean there is no work to do."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

James toddled around his room, reveling in his nakedness and laughing while Louisa pulled out his clothes. He came over to her and securing her attention said, "Mummy, boman" as he patted his chubby belly. Louisa looked at him. "Mummy, boman," he repeated pointing at his belly again. She hadn't the vaguest idea what her towhead baby was saying.

"James, that's your tummy," she said. "No, Dah,...BOMAN," he replied with two year old gravity. Louisa really wondered if he had made a mistake. "Alright, James Henry, where is your nose?" He happily pressed on his adorable nose. "Ok, where are your fingers?" He displayed them wiggling with gusto. "Ok, what's this?" She pointed to his tummy.

"BOMAN!" he exclaimed in a voice that only children can produce. "Not tummy?" she questioned as she lay him down for a fresh nappy. "No," he firmly replied. Louisa fastened the nappy and pulled on his little jeans...then it occurred to her...Boman….abdomen! Only Martin would teach a child that his tummy was an abdomen! That cleared up, she finished dressing James and let him make his way down the stairs, on his bottom, one riser at a time. Martin was certainly different, no one could argue that, and the whole incident left her in stitches.

After breakfast, Louisa and James went down to the village to pick up a few groceries and let James run on the platte for a time. He talked constantly and actually found a little girl to play with. Louisa knew he would soon go to nursery, but worried they might not be doing enough to expose James to other children. Watching the two children run around laughing on the beach eased her mind a bit. He was a passable social creature...that was enough.

"Oh, the crisp fresh air of the sea!" thought Louisa. She got James home and managed to keep him awake for lunch, but afterward he was one little boy that needed a nap, and Louisa needed a respite. She was sitting in the lounge with a cup of tea and her feet up on the sofa. As her thoughts wandered she found herself reimagining the very young Martin Ellingham sleeping and weeping in the the mess of blood, urine and vomit in the closet under the stairs. Even the thought nauseated her, but how a mother could do that to her own child was unthinkable. She was then totally betrayed by her own condition and rushed to the bin in the kitchen to vomit up what little she had eaten for lunch.

Martin walked in the room at that very moment. "Louisa, what's wrong? Here, let me help."

At that very moment she was reminded of something that she had heard some time before. Those words, "Let me help" were probably the most important words of all...more meaningful than "I love you". When someone said "Let me help" they were willing to motivate themselves to do what was necessary to restore someone's well being. It was an active form of "I love you" and typified everything that Martin Ellingham stood for and Louisa loved him all the more for it.

Martin wiped her face and helped her to her feet. She was sobbing. "Oh Martin, I was just thinking of the little boy you were and how hideous that night in the closet must have been."

"It wasn't a pleasant experience, but as I said, it made me into a better person when I came out." Louisa snuggled into his chest, resting her head on the fabric of his navy blue suit. "Perhaps I've made a mistake by telling you?"

"Don't you dare not tell me things that are hurtful, Martin Ellingham," Louisa said in no uncertain terms. "The only way to make our family work is total honesty. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes," Martin replied. "I am a private person, but I will surrender to your poking and prodding if that will make you happy."

"It will...and it's very important. That issue is settled," Louisa answered.

Martin made her tea and lunch for himself. He told her that his desk was nearly clear and all the paperwork he had piling up was done. He was at her disposal for the rest of the day. It wasn't long before they heard James over the monitor. "Dah...out. Dah...out." It had been nice to have a little break anyway.

James awoke in a very pleasant mood and didn't seem to have demands for the rest of the day. He was very happy building with his blocks and playing with his trucks in the sitting room. Martin figured out if he sat cross-legged on the floor, near the blocks, he could actually read a journal. James happily chattered and told him "Big trucks" and "Oh Gaww" when his structures fell down. Louisa pulled him up on the sofa and read some books about animals. Their son was a virtual sponge and by the time the afternoon was out knew exactly what a dog, cat and sheep said. James bothered his mother as she watched her movie by dragging her into the kitchen. "Mummy, bicket, pease…" He said, pointing to where the biscuits were stored. Martin just stared, but you could tell he was fascinated. It was an exponential time of development.

"Martin, why are you teaching James that his tummy is an abdomen?" Louisa asked.

"It's the proper anatomical term, Louisa. I thought why learn twice if you learn correctly the first time." Martin answered.

"Martin, I love you. There's not a day you don't make me smile...well, maybe a bad day here and there," Louisa said.

"Well, I'm glad I do something right for you. Doing good things isn't my strong suit," Martin answered.

"You have no idea," said Louisa, knowing how wrong he was.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

James went down easily. His parents found themselves in the kitchen doing the last bits washing up. Martin went into his consulting room and returned with parts of the old clock, wrapped in a cloth.

"Oh, Martin," Louisa said. "I'm so sorry...if I hadn't been so presumptuous and called on your mother that still could have been in one piece. Perhaps we could have recovered it later."

"It's of no consequence," he replied. "This leaves no question of how she feels about us. If we'd got it intact there may have been a modicum of sentimentality. This way I know that she hates me, making my decision to disown her even more clear."

"But I love you Martin," Louisa said. "More than the sun and moon and the stars."

He cleared his throat. "Uhm...yes...and I think that's good, isn't it?"

"Yes, Martin, that's good...very good," Louisa replied.

"Well, I salvaged a few spare parts that could be useful in my other projects, but the rest of this is just junk. I'll bin it and say goodbye to Grandfather Henry." Said Martin.

"Don't say goodbye, Martin. Grandpa Henry, despite the heavy hand he exerted on his own children, lives in you," said Louisa. "Did I tell you that I visited with one of my old professors at teacher's college when I was in London? He gave a speech saying the only way we can implement change is to look to the future, because that is where we will live. I'm not sure I can totally embrace that. Past experiences make us who we are. I guess he acknowledged that, but warned against dwelling on them."

"As I don't, Louisa," Martin replied. "With you and James in my life, every day is fresh and new. I never want to go back to being without you. I may not tell you, but that's the way I feel."

He stepped outside and dumped the parts in the bin. It was an unceremonious end to a chapter that changed his life.

When he returned Louisa was sitting on the sofa in the lounge, opening a book that she had been struggling with for weeks. On the table was a sample bottle that looked to contain urine...or something.

"Martin, you know about that nappy issue we discussed the other day?" she proposed. "I think it's not going to go away. I'm three weeks late for my period and I'm feeling rather pregnant."

"Yes….I noticed your breasts were rather full lately, not that I'd ever complain…" He answered. "I'll go get the hCG test stick."

They did the test together while sitting on the sofa. Martin was a bit taken aback by the whole thing. "I wasn't taking any precautions, Louisa, perhaps I should have," he said. "No, Martin, that's not the point," Louisa replied. "I want another child. I am very happy. James can have a brother or sister. It's wonderful."

Martin sat in silence. Louisa didn't know whether to say anything or not. He was pensive, but his face showed no consternation. She almost thought she saw the corners of his mouth go up.

"Well, we'll have to deal with the nappy issue a little more carefully, I suppose," he said. Louisa threw her arms around him and held him close. "Martin, broken clocks and dreams are in the past. Let's learn from them. The future is where we must live. Let's look that way and rejoice. I love you Martin Ellingham."

"I love you, too, Louisa, even if there are more nappies to come."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 23

Days later a package arrived at the surgery. Martin brought it into the consulting room and put it aside until the end of the day. With the last patient dealt with, he put the box on the top of his desk and broke the seal with scissors.

There was a note on the top of the contents. He glanced at it quickly without reading it and put it aside. Out of the box he pulled an exquisite clock, made of wood and embellished with stained glass. It was a Fullerton clock, lovingly made in Cornwall and no doubt ridiculously expensive. It was an amazingly beautiful piece. Martin was totally taken aback that someone would send something so precious to him. He picked up the note.

Dear Dr. Ellingham,

So sorry to hear about the destruction of your antique clock. My valet, Franklin, told me of the ugly incident that transpired between your lovely wife and Margaret. I wish I'd had an opportunity to visit with your wife myself, but my efforts to do so were squelched. Please accept this as a replacement for your valued family heirloom. It doesn't have the history the original did, but no better time than the present to start a whole new family tradition.

Pass this down to your children. I'm sure you have a wealth of truths to teach them. Also know that despite my advanced age I am available to be their grandfather. I have ways of foiling Margaret's attempts to ruin everything. I remain,

Sir Philip Crawley

Kensington, London, Great Britain

Martin put down the letter and pondered the kindness that Sir Philip had extended. He'd not experienced anything like this in a long long time. He rubbed his hands on the perfectly sanded wood and went about setting the right time. He relished the thought of his family, including the new baby to come. Grandfather Henry's clock was gone but here was a new one and a new family tradition. In that moment, he felt content.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Epilogue

The blond youth pulled the old clock down from its' space on the shelf. "See, Henry, now that the clock is ours, we can look at it as much as we want."

The younger boy was a bit worried. "But Martin, I'm not sure that Mum would want us messing with it. After all, it was Grandfather Martin's clock."

Young Martin was not to be deterred. "Grandad Martin certainly is an old coot, isn't he? Sometimes I wonder how he and Grandmum ever had kids. But look here...it says, "To James Henry Ellingham...July 2026". That's when he gave it to Dad."

"And now it belongs to us," declared Henry. "And Dad said we had to take good care of it. Let's put it away."

Martin replied, "Ok, but it's so old. Let's make sure nothing ever happens to it. No matter how grumpy Grandpa seems he is always interesting."

The boys put the clock back into its normal spot, where it still kept perfect time.

Finis


End file.
